For whatever reason, 2016 seems to have been a difficult year for many people. On top of personal struggles and tragedies, there was the added pressure and negativity following many high profile deaths, a volatile election in the States, yet more war in the middle east dividing the two largest super powers, global warming, etc.etc.etc.
You get the picture.
While we can't control what happens in the world at large, we can control how we react to it. For those of you who are seeking to make 2017 a year of positivity, I've compiled a list of ways to get you started.
1.Purge.
Your environment can absolutely affect your mental state. Start improving your outlook by getting rid of clutter, things that don't serve you, or things that you've been hanging onto for the sake of plans that may never happen.I'm currently in the middle of this process myself, and it helps to start with empty garbage and recycle bins. I've spent the last few days going room to room and sorting through what I don't need and what I would like to keep (the book shelf was the most painful). As I'm doing this, I'm making a list of items that could help me stay organized (my jewellery are literally just shiny refugees floating around my house looking for a home, so a jewellery box might be a good start.)
And if you really want to get crazy, you may as well extend this process to your computer and take some time to go through all of your files!
2.Give Back
Once you've gone through the arduous process of de-cluttering and organizing your space, you may suddenly find yourself with a lot of stuff you don't need and have no room for. While selling these items for a little extra cash is fine, donating to charity can also be very rewarding! Some charities even have large metal bins on the sidewalks where you can safely leave bags of clothes. And giving back definitely helps you realize how great your life is. Which brings me to #3...3. Practice Gratitude
Unfortunately, we live in a world where we're always made aware of how great our lives aren't. We're inundated with celebrity culture, given access to the luxurious lifestyles of the rich, and are constantly being bombarded with ads for things that look really cool, but we really don't need and probably can't afford.We're working longer hours, and have less time to spend with our family and friends. And even when we do find some time, we're busy worrying about other things in the back of our minds.
While having goals and working towards them are admirable actions, don't forget to appreciate where you are in life. Even when things don't seem so great, just remember that it's okay to forgive yourself, and to admit when you need a break. And while headphones can be an introvert's best friend, don't forget to take notice and appreciate your surroundings.
4. Create a Realistic Schedule
This month, I had a total of 4 days off from my two jobs. Subsequently, I ended up calling in sick to a few shifts because apparently I don't actually enjoy 60 hour work weeks. So it seems I could really benefit from taking my own advice.Whether it's school, or work, or other commitments, don't work yourself to death. You need time to wake up in the morning, you need time to make and eat proper meals, you need time to exercise, and you need time to yourself. Those quiet, in-between moments in your day are important, so don't attempt to fill them up with things.
5. Learn to Say "No"
If you've found yourself frequently feeling frustrated and unfulfilled this year, take stock of how you're actually spending your time. Are you spending it on activities that you enjoy and that are valuable to you? Or are you dragging your feet to things that you really don't like?It can be difficult to make big changes, and to try at things that could lead to failure and embarrassment. But if we don't try, we can't grow. And wouldn't you rather fail 10 times at something you enjoy rather than accomplish something that feels completely inconsequential? Who knows, by this time next year you may develop a new talent!
6. Take a Good Long Look at Your Relationships
I feel this ties in well with steps 1 & 5. While adult relationships can be hard to maintain, sometimes what it comes down to is that they really aren't worth maintaining. After high school many of my close friends moved away and I was left feeling panicked. Admittedly, starting new friendships is not my strong suit, so I found myself clinging to the friends I had left.While some of these friendships have grown strong, others have left me feeling frustrated. This is because in the end, friendships shouldn't be based on convenience, they should be based on mutual enjoyment. If you find yourself wishing you were home so you could be doing something more worthy of your time, do both of you a favour and stop lying to yourself.
Similarly, don't chase after relationships that are dysfunctional. While healthy relationships do take some work, there is a certain amount of enjoyment and willingness from both parties to work through each others' boundaries.
If you find yourself anxious whenever you're around someone, if they aren't respecting your boundaries, and you feel manipulated into changing your behaviour solely when you're around this individual, stop. Some relationships aren't meant to be. If you risk ruining this relationship simply by being yourself, it's time to assert your own needs and move on.
7. Practice Mindfulness
While "mindfulness" seems to be the latest buzz word for new-age spirituality, there are benefits that one can receive from learning to focus on the present and accepting things exactly how they are.Taking time to practice different types of meditation can assist in many areas in your life. I've only recently began meditating by focusing on an object, and afterwards I often find myself feeling alert to my surroundings, calmer and overall much more positive.
This is a simple act that you can perform for yourself, that takes nothing but some of your time.
8. Make Exercise Fun
While social media is full of health fads and exercise movements, there are more ways than ever to incorporate exercise into your daily life that don't require an instagram account. Much like meditation and mindfulness, exercise is a simple act that provides huge long-term benefits.A few years ago I tore the tendon in my right foot and spent almost a month bed-ridden, waiting for it to heal. While insoles alleviate the pressures of walking on my foot, running and excessive movement would leave it throbbing and sore. I used this as an excuse not to exercise, but have now decided to commit myself to low-impact forms of exercise like swimming and yoga, two things that I enjoy anyways.
And while discussing how to accomplish this with family and friends, I discovered that the city I live in provides a recreation pass for those under a certain income - for free! So it pays off to share your goals with your loved ones.
9. Be Accountable
This may be the most important step of all. We all have troubles, and we all have limitations. Some of these are temporary and some are permanent. Learning to work with what we have to achieve happiness is an important and ongoing lesson for any adult. We can't always control all of our circumstances, but it's important to remember that we have more control over ourselves than anyone else ever will. If we can't change our lives, nobody else can.We all know when we're lying to ourselves. We repeat excuses over and over in our heads until we start to believe them.
Learn to be honest with yourself. To recognize patterns of behaviour that are damaging, and acknowledge them. We all have them, and we've all managed to sabotage ourselves at some point in our lives. For myself, I tend to procrastinate because I fear failure. Even with this blog, which I started for my own amusement, I've procrastinated on so many times.
Just remember that nothing worth doing comes easy. Changing your life takes time and consistency. I wish you all the best in the New Year and look forward to hearing about your positive changes!
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